Ramblings

     Wow, I can’t believe it’s been so long since I’ve been here.  So much has happened.  Life has gone on.  My little Eli is 8 years old.  What a precious boy.  So smart and happy and a good kid.     We survived another holiday season.  I’m still not sure why holidays are so difficult for us all.  I guess just so many people and so much going one between 3 houses.  Wanting to stop and visit with everyone and just not having time to concentrate on any one person.  It’s basically chaos, but still lots of love between us all.      It’s been 4 years since we lost Daddy & Shayne.  Sometimes it’s so hard to believe it’s been that long, but in another aspect I feel like it’s been forever.  I miss them both so much.  I go back and watch the videos of Shayne, so I can hear his voice.  I look at young men who are the age he would be now (21) and try to picture how he would look.  And I continue to ask God to give me clarity about why this happened.  And I still cry.  I think our tears are

Well once again, it looks like it's been 4 months since I've written, which to some might seem like not that much time at all.  The thing is, so much can happen in such a short time.   Last time I was here it was my birthday.  Since then there have been many birthdays.        My brother Albert had a birthday, then Mama and Daddy celebrated their 68th Anniversary.  My son Luke, little sister Lynette, Josh, Patrick, Mama & Daddy, Bret, Ida all had birthdays.  Then on August 11th something happened that changed everything.        I always thought I understood death, I was sure I knew everything there was to know about life and death and what I found out is that I didn't know much at all about it.      On August 11, 2014 we lost our dear Daddy.  I seriously don't think my heart will ever be the same. Dad had just turned 92 and he and Mama had just had their 68th Anniversary.  Mama said she knew Dad even before that, so I know that the ache I feel is probably nothing