The way to live

I really love this picture I found today.  This is how we should all live!!! At least in my opinion.

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Anniversaries ~ Grief ~ Love

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Daddy died two years ago on August 11, and on December 22 it will be the two year anniversary of the death of my precious grandson.  There hasn't been one day go by without thoughts of my Dad & Shayne.  I've changed considerably in those two years.

I guess we all grow up learning that life is what changes us, but it doesn't have the same impact that death does.

I've been learning about grief and what a terrible thing that it is to have following you around.  I've been trying to teach myself that grief is in the same category as unforgiveness. They only bring harm to us.  But, we grow and we change in both.  

I've had to really grow up in these 60 years of mine.  I've learned a lot of hard lessons about myself. but also about the people around me.  I've had to learn that expectations are so damaging.  When you start expecting and then get disappointed, it just makes trouble.

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A New Day

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I woke up this morning thinking about death again!  It is because ever since Daddy and Eva and Shayne died, it seems like all I've done for the past 3 years is go to funerals.  It makes me wonder if it's just because I viewed death differently before these losses.

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Timber Creek High School Graduation

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Today from 4 pm to 6 pm was the graduation at Timber Creek High School in Keller, Texas.  Tonight, if Shayne was still with us, we would have all been at his graduation.  It's so difficult to even try to explain how that feels.

There are going to be so many "things & times" that I will feel this way.  So many things we will miss.  Shaynes graduation is just one of many things that we will never get to share.  He might have gone to college, fallen in love, gotten married, had children.  But, none of these things are ever going to happen.  For the rest of our lives, Shayne will always be 17.

I have wanted to do something ever since Shayne died.  Something to tell the world to help people who are depressed.  Something to teach us to see things better.  To not miss the signs.  I wish so badly that Shayne would have told us that he was hurting.  Oh, if I could only turn the clock back and save my precious grandson.

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